- Procreated. Sean Preston Federline and Jayden James Federline aren’t going to be raised well.
- Named her children. I could have done that for her. For free*.
- Attacked a car with an umbrella. That’s totally Rihanna’s beat.
- Drugs. What? You didn’t know?
- “Sung” the song If You Seek Amy. There are synths that sound more human than that vocal.
- Shaved her head. Yeah that was weird.
- Used caged animals as props. Angering PETA is bad karma. Really bad.
*Just so you know, I would do it for you. If you asked.